Romantic Scriptures--Proverbs 31:10-11
Day 3
So here it is, St. Valentine’s Day +1.
And I don’t think I could get any more romantic than Sweet & Sour Yellow Croaker for St.Valentine’s Day dinner. 🙂
(Karen and I actually had the sweet and sour fish one time before, but I don’t recollect the whole fish coming out like this).
There’s a lot of metaphor in this picture about love and women, and maybe wives, I think, but I’m going to leave well enough alone, in case my wife gets any ideas.
Besides, even if the yellow croaker is a fairly accurate depiction of my romantic endeavors throughout my life, that doesn’t mean that DOA expression on its face means that’s accurate for NOW.
Karen is the answer to the question posed in Proverbs 31:
Proverbs 31:10-11 An excellent wife, who can find her? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.
Or I guess to be totally grammatically correct, the answer is ME.
I found the excellent wife.
But, Lord knows, finding an excellent wife isn’t easy.
Verse 10 asks about excellence, but many scholars think “excellent” is a stand-in for the word “virtuous.”
Bryan Miller makes this point in A Virtuous Woman, Who Can Find?:
“Instead of thinking primarily about “the perfect wife,” it is more likely that Solomon was asking, “Who can find a virtuous woman?” The Hebrew word can mean either. It is apparent from the rest of the passage that this is a married woman with children, but that does not necessarily mean that this lady’s role as a mother or wife should be the focus here.”
Virtuous seems interchangeable with noble and excellent in most of the translations and doesn’t necessarily have the narrow meaning of being sexually chaste, which is what I think of when I hear of a woman’s virtue–although I’m sure that’s part of it.
Beginning with verse 10 is a description of ALL of an excellent woman’s virtues–all the way to verse 31.
Verses 10-31 read like a resume for a CEO.
The worthy woman is described as trustworthy, hardworking, resourceful (planting a vineyard in verse 16!), strong, energetic, compassionate, generous, skilled, industrious, and on and on.
With all of those responsibilities that would crush any man, the virtuous woman also speaks wisely and with kindness (verse 26). Ha!
Barbara Leung Lai notes in Making Sense of a Biblical Portrait, how impossible modern women find Proverbs 31:
“I am still amazed by the high standard set by the sages. The fact that the portrait begins with a rhetorical question, “A Virtuous Wife Who can find?” emphasizes the difficulty of such a search. As contemporary Christian women face the constant struggle between family and career, role-expectation and personal aspiration, my peers often find that this portrait exasperates and frustrates them. This resentment creates an obstacle in hearing the text and its intended message.”
The key for a man to find a virtuous woman, I think, is not to look in all of the places set up in modern society (like bars and online websites) to make a woman seem physically attractive (which in today’s society almost means licentious and exhibitionist).
The list of virtues, I notice, in verses 10-31, doesn’t include physical beauty. Only the virtuous woman’s list of abilities that define her character.
In Five Lies of Our Anti-Christian Age, Rosaria Butterfield explains how our modern society reduces a woman’s virtues to just one:
“Godly womanhood, like other Christian virtues, is truly a mystery. A godly woman is a modest woman. A godly woman’s modesty is a sacred principle, infused with God’s grace. A godly woman’s modesty is a signature virtue, the beauty of which our anti-Christian world mocks and despises…one thing is dreadfully clear: our social media-saturated world encourages Christins women to replace modesty with exhibitionism.”
I think most women want to reside in verses 10-31, deep in their heart of hearts. I think our soulless modern society gets in the way of that with warped values that are reductionist by nature.
The Proverbs 31 woman is full, complex, and complicated.
She probably DOES look good in leggings too, but that isn’t the most important quality of a Proverbs 31 woman.
It is her abilities that matter and her closeness to God and His Word.
And to be a virtuous or excellent woman takes a lifetime–doesn’t happen at age 18 or even age 81.
Barbara Leung Lai writes:
“Reading the portrait as an ‘eulogy’ is inspiring and also comforting. All Christian women have their whole lifetime to develop and advance in these areas of excellence, in accordance with their God-given potentials and opportunities.”
In Elvis Presley’s Can’t Help Falling In Love, he is clearly singing to a virtuous woman:
Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you?
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand
Take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you
An excellent wife, who can find her?
Sometimes, they have been there all along. 🙂
Lord, teach us to live with integrity, to work diligently, and to love selflessly. Help us to build relationships rooted in trust, where our words and deeds reflect Your truth.
Amen.