It’s simple really.
Shut my damn mouth.
But what seems simple in retrospect, isn’t.
Being silent, acquiescing, agreeing, yessing my way along, isn’t my brand–try as I might.
To tame my tongue, I have to deal with who I am.
I opened Upon Waking: 60 Daily Reflections to Discover Ourselves and the God We Were Made For this morning and Jackie Hill Perry’s devotion is on Proverbs 18:21:
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
When I finished a good hearty laugh at the Holy Spirit’s timing, I remembered how angry I was last night–AT MY MOTHER–in an insignificant disagreement where she came out of nowhere, (in my opinion) with a vicious anger that since childhood has wounded me.
Perry writes:
“If God made everyone, everyone is special. Not only does the nature of our neighbor matter, as far as our words are concerned, but our words reveal the integrity of our inner self. Or rather the disintegration between the two when our words demonstrate an obvious combination of both blessing and cursing out the same mouth.”
My words reveal the integrity of my inner-self.
Well, that’s a hard read on what should be a fun-filled Friday of friends and family–and hanging out MORE with my parents.
I want to say to myself, “Well, I’m a rotten guy, so what should I expect out of my mouth, but rottenness?”
That’s a cop out and I know it. I’m not rotten–I just don’t have an easy, conciliatory, Christian impulse to say things that keep things smooth and flowing.
I’m jagged and abrupt and off-putting.
C.S. Lewis reveals a much higher perspective on how I should perceive communicating with others in The Weight of Glory:
“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, to some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”
It is clear that I fed the beast last night with my words and unleashed “immortal horror” when I could have cultivated “everlasting splendor.”
The words I speak have the power of destruction or the power to promote growth and vitality.
I destroyed in anger last night.
In Fill Your Mouth with Life, Not Death, Jon Bloom gets at what is going on:
“A critical heart produces a critical tongue. A self-righteous heart produces a judgmental tongue. A bitter heart produces an acerbic tongue. An ungrateful heart produces a grumbling tongue.But a loving heart produces a gracious tongue. A faithful heart produces a truthful tongue. A peaceful heart produces a reconciling tongue. A trusting heart produces an encouraging tongue.”
Time to get my side of the street in order today and promote life with a peaceful tongue.
Besides my Mom, Karen needs that right now too. Fatigue from the chemo pill arrived yesterday and I feel like we will be downshifting some in our expectations of what we can accomplish day to day.
It’s really not as simple as shutting my damn mouth. It’s about being a man of integrity who strives to be more Christ-like.
Lord, grant us the wisdom to speak words that uplift, encourage, and build up others. Help us to be mindful of the power of our words to build or destroy.
Lord, forgive us for the times we have spoken carelessly, causing hurt and pain. Help us to cleanse our hearts of bitterness and anger.
Amen.